


The Five Stages Of Intimacy

by lukeloops



Series: The Book Of Guardians [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Character development (loosely), Comfort, F/M, First Time, Fluff, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:20:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5611999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeloops/pseuds/lukeloops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little study of how Ciel and Lizzie's relationship grows after their wedding, and how they begin to learn the multiple meanings of sharing a bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Five Stages Of Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Here's some bonus cuteness while I map out the details of the sequel to St Zita. if you want to talk cute Kuro headcanons or maybe even request a scenario, hmu at trashprincessboy.tumblr.com :)

The first stage is of course kissing. Not the pecking of a hand or cheek for show; no, kissing when the two of them are alone in their chambers, away from prying eyes.It's Lizzie who initiates this, knowing that Ciel, for all his precocious authority, is too shy to ask without prompt. So on their wedding night, when she presses her lips cautiously to his, and he asks "Can I try that too?", the feeling of being kissed rather than kissing is overwhelming and she finds tears slipping down her cheeks. Her husband looks horrified when he realises, but she places a hand on his knee.

"I just never thought that you could ever want to do that."

"I do. I like it." He makes to stand up and undress. She goes through to her own bedroom to do the same, but returns afterwards, because a wife sleeps with her husband on their wedding night.

 

 

 

It's about a week later when they reach stage two. Sleeping side by side has become de facto as much as de jure, but chastely so. Tonight however, what starts as a quick goodnight kiss when they climb into bed quickly becomes an embrace with Ciel's hands at Lizzie's sides and hers at his. He finds himself leaning into the kiss and pushing Lizzie back against the pillows, his body over hers. She has her eyes closed but the lids are fluttering.

In the haze of newlywed expectation Ciel has begun to take notice of her body, how it is warm and scented with musky floral fragrance. Now, looking down at her and flushed from kissing, he pushes her hair away from her face so that they can continue and trails that hand down to her chest. Lizzie tenses, but doesn't break her lips away from his, and Ciel's curious fingers splay themselves out over what he knows to be her breast.To his own surprise, he shudders a little at the sensation, and feels something strange stir within him. He touches the other breast too, pulling away so he can look down, and realises that Lizzie too is breathing faster and slightly shakily. Her breasts are indeed soft, and when he squeezes experimentally she arches her back a little to push into his touch, reconnecting their lips. Ciel wants to touch more of her body, indulge his newfound interest in womanhood. His slightly trembling hand now goes further south, catching the hem of the nightdress that's twisted about her knees and sliding up, palm following fingertips along bare silky skin to brush at wiry hair-

"That's far enough for tonight." Lizzie's hand is on his chest, not pushing, but firm. Ciel feels suddenly very disappointed, but he tries to bury it. He's cared about Lizzie far longer than he's cared about knowing what's between a woman's legs. So he sits up, nodding in understanding.

"I  can still sleep with you tonight though?"

 

 

 

Stage three doesn't come for another month. During this time, Ciel starts having nightmares again, and despite Lizzie's presence calming him down, he doesn't want her to see him being weak. She starts to sleep in her own bed again.

It's Lau who makes the first jibe about Ciel's marital life- in front of the Earl himself, that is. Others have betting pools on whether the Lady Phantomhive will ever fall pregnant, or how soon she will take a lover. Ciel manages to deflect the joke without going too red, but later he takes the unpleasant trader aside and glances from side to side.

"How will I know when it's the right time to do it?"

He can't ask the servants, he certainly can't ask Sebastian. Of course, the physician explained the ins and outs to him- pardon the pun- but the idea of doing _that_ seems so disconnected from the pleasurable feeling he gets when they kiss with their bodies close together, that he can't imagine one leading to other.

Lau just smiles that irritating smile of his and says, "You have become acquainted with each other's souls, no? Now you must do the same with each others bodies."

 

Still mulling over this statement, Ciel wonders whether or not to knock before opening the mahogany door that connects their rooms. To hell with it, he decides, we are married after all.

But he's not expecting to find her in the bath.

Lizzie is startled when Ciel bursts in, and her first response is to shout and look for a weapon, but when she sees him cover his eyes and freeze she softens.

"Could you hand me a towel please Ciel?"

Still furiously avoiding looking at her, Ciel picks up the towel and passes it to Lizzie. She steps out of the tub and begins patting herself dry. "Thank you. Did you want something?"

"I came to talk about... Never mind." He looks ready to implode, but still hasn't left.

Lizzie's smile widens. "Are you peeking, Ciel?"

"No!"

"Would you like to help me dry off?"

"Yes! I mean," Ciel stammers the words out, "If you wish me to then I will of course oblige..."

He takes the towel back from Lizzie and starts dabbing randomly. She stands still, allowing him to see her back, her chest. She lets him pull out the long wooden pins securing her hair up so that the golden curls tumble down over her shoulders. She notes the way he bites his lip, takes off his eyepatch so that he can look at her with both eyes, human and demon.

"You're beautiful." Ciel whispers.

The Demon in him can smell her purity and it's just _begging_ to be ruined, to be stolen away and broken. But that doesn't matter, not now, because being able to feel warm, flushed, still slightly damp skin beneath his fingertips and knowing it belongs to somebody who trusts him, who loves him, is undeniably, overwhelmingly _human._

Ciel's hands mould to Lizzie's face and he asks with his eyes if he can kiss her; the sparkle in hers says yes. Within seconds of their lips meeting, they are stumbling to the bed, landing with a soft thump onto the covers. Once again, they are kissing as though they don't want to stop, and they don't. Stage four comes quickly.

"Is that-" Lizzie feels something digging into her hip. Ciel goes bright red, and Lizzie's eyes widen with realization.

"That's supposed to happen," he mumbles. "Because you're... naked."

Lizzie flushes too, but doesn't try to cover herself.

"Should I undress too?" Asks Ciel quietly. She nods, and slips beneath the covers while he fumbles with his clothes.

Should he put on his nightshirt? Do men have to have all of their clothes off too, or do they normally just undo their trousers, like when using the toilet? Ciel hastily shakes off those thoughts and decides to just take everything off and get straight in.

Lizzie rolls into her side to face him. "Are you nervous?" She asks.

"No." He lies. "You?"

"A little."

"You don't need to be, I promised you that I wouldn't do anything you didn't want me to, remember?" Ciel captures her lips with his again. He's getting better at this, and now that he's obviously eager, he's quickly able to draw her breath out from between her parted lips and leave her gasping for more.

"You can put your hands on my chest again if you like," Lizzie whispers shyly, but perhaps a little coyly.

"Maybe... we could touch each other... further down?" There, he's said it. And it was terrifying. But she's nodding.

Lips meet first, then shaking hands, then foreheads and noses pressing together as those hands begin to stray, eyelids fluttering halfway between open and closed in time with slow, deep breaths. Ciel gasps in shock as he slips his hand between Lizzie's thighs and finds something warm and slick hidden beneath the downy hair that he noticed before. Like a mouth. Judging by her own gasp, it's somewhere sensitive, and he tries to explore the heat without causing any kind of injury; it's difficult though. The silky feel of her private area and the way Lizzie is squirming ever so slightly is... arousing. Even more so than seeing her breasts. It feels good.

And then her fingers are hesitantly spreading out over his own stomach, reaching lower, feeling for his own secret area. 

 _There._ At first, she too is afraid of hurting him with her touch, but quickly realises that the tiny moan she has elicted from Ciel is a sign of his enjoyment. Lizzie has no idea what to really do with his organ, so she alternates between running her fingers up and down the length and pressing lightly against the tip.

"Lizzie," Ciel gasps, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open. "That feels-"

With a sudden twitch of his index finger, he's pushing it inside her. The sharp  pain has her wincing but it only lasts a second, and she finds herself pushing her hips forward, closer to him, bending her knees so that he can touch her more easily.

Instead, Ciel withdraws his finger and brings it to his face. "Did I hurt-" 

At the realisation that there is  blood on his fingertip, something inside snaps.

Ciel jerks away from Lizzie, curling up in a tight ball with his back to her, clamping his mouth shut and his hands over his ears because he can _hear_ them.

He's vaguely aware of being shaken and his name being called, but it's no good, he sees them now too, and in a few short seconds...

...He feels them. Hungry claws gripping at his body. Ropes on his wrists. Cutting into the skin. Cutting into the skin. Being pushed down face-first onto cold stone. The ripping pain. His nails digging in his palms. Cutting into the skin. Cutting into the skin.

"Ciel!"

Lizzie pulls his hands away from his face, even though he scratches at her. This is different to his nightmares- his eyes are wide open and seem to be staring straight through her.

"It's alright," she murmurs soothingly. "Nobody is hurt. It's alright." 

He blinks several times until he can see her.

"Nobody is hurt, Ciel." She whispers one  more time and then lays back down. He immediately curls into his side.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, "I didn't mean..."

"Hush now." Lizzie threads her fingertips into his hair, brushing it back from his sweaty forehead. 

He falls asleep to the sound of her heartbeat.

  

Sebastian seems to know not to send a maid in with breakfast, but to wait until the bell is rung. It's a gesture that Ciel would almost be grateful for if he didn't know full well that the butler is currently hiding away laughing to himself at his Master's state of indecency. Whatever.

 He lies on his stomach, propped up by his elbows, smiling down at his sleeping wife. She's beautitul, anybody can see that. But all the people in their finest clothes who smile at the sight of the happy young couple, and then whisper into their drinks or behind their fans, they know nothing of Lizzie. They haven't seen her wield a sword and dance across broken tiles while sparks shower around her. They haven't seen the way she looks at him when he's shaking and scared and she's telling him it's okay. They don't see her when they wake up, and she's still asleep, curly lashes casting shadows on soft pink cheeks. It is only he that can truly and truthfully say-

 

"I love you." Ciel says into the silence.

"Huh?" Lizzie opens her eyes, training confused green orbs on him.

It's late, several nights later, and Ciel has been running his realisation around and around in his mind while watching her fall asleep.

Here they are. Stage five.

"I mean it," he murmurs, and then Lizzie is kissing him, and her cheeks are damp but he brushes away the tears with the back of his hands before allowing his fingers to tangle in her hair. The kiss deepens in time with Ciel's breathing; he lets himself sink down into the mattress, rolling Lizzie on top of him. Through her nightdress he can feel her curves, which he traces idly while passing his lips over her jaw and into the hollow of her throat.

"Lizzie," he sighs into the warm skin, "Lizzie, I want to make love to you tonight Lizzie."

She is silent for a moment, before whispering "Alright."

Ciel presses a slightly clumsy kiss to her throat again while he guides her down onto her back, making sure that the covers are pulled right up to his shoulders, for both of their comfort.

Lizzie reaches up to caress his face. "My Mother said that I may bleed, but it will get less painful."

"I- before, when I touched you." Ciel's face is red now, for the first time that evening despite everything he's said. "I found your opening... maybe if I put my finger in first it will be easier."

She nods shyly, but she shifts beneath him so that her knees are spread, and he kisses her briefly before shuffling down so he can feel her.

Lizzie bites her lip at the discomfort. Ciel looks up at her questioningly.

"I can do it," she tells him, and she can. This is more than just her duty as a wife, she wants to become one with Ciel.

He comes back up for a kiss, and once his lips are on hers Lizzie feels the tension between her legs evaporate. She pulls him closer. "I'm ready. Put it in."

They kiss again, and there is a minute of fumbling, then they are one.

Ciel tries to be gentle, he really does, but the sensation seems to make his hips move of their own accord and sends his hands to her shoulders, clutching tight. There is no other word than ecstasy.

"Lizzie," he chokes out, "Does it feel alright?"

There's no denying that it's uncomfortable, but she's adjusting to it, and besides, she wants him to enjoy this without being worried about her.

"Don't stop," she breathes, arms around his neck.

Ciel is panting now, burying his face in her shoulder, choking her name out between gasps.

"Lizzie... _Lizzie!"_

Suddenly he stills, entire body stiffening for a long moment, before separating their bodies so he can collapse down against the mattress. Lizzie curls up next to him, sweaty hands seeking each others under the covers.

Ciel closes his eyes. "Thank you." He murmurs, feeling sleep already coming to claim him. "I love you Lizzie."

"And I love you Ciel." Delicate lips press lightly against his forehead.

There are no nightmares that night.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't meant to be sexy, in fact I feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of that with these two characters, but it's probably more realistic like this anyway :P
> 
> Disclaimer: any type of penetrative sex should be preceded by proper and enthusiastic foreplay.


End file.
